Goodbye April, hello May

Well I survived the first full month of shelter in place, soft-lockdown. Survived may sound a bit dramatic. But these last few weeks I often had the feeling I wasn’t really living but merely surviving.

While on social media everybody seemed to be into home workouts, healthy eating and home schooling their children. This last with varying degrees of success. However routines were clearly established and everybody was striving for a better live. In the meantime I was struggling with all this.

So at the beginning of April the plan was to get myself together and also try to make the best of this period. The first weekend of April I ordered a big fruit and vegetable box, right from the wholesale market which opened business to the public with restaurants closed. When delivered April 8th, I went to the grocery store for protein and water. And I would start exercising early in the morning, even on the days I was furloughed.

Unfortunately it didn’t go as planned. I must confess that most of that fresh produce went bad (sorry mom) and my meals consisted out of quiches, chips, ice cream, 2 meal delivery dinners and a lot of non-nutritional food. The week before the lock-down I lost close to 6lbs, which were found back on my scale the last day of April.

I like to be curled up with a book and prefer a night of Netflix over going out. So I thought that I would thrive during this soft-lockdown. That wasn’t really the case. The more alone time I had the more withdrawn I became and I never really understood why. Until last week, when I came across an enneagram post about how each type behaves in stress. An enneagram expert I’m not, however I find it very interesting and I want to learn more. I’m 90% sure I’m a type 5 (the investigator/the observer). Traits of a 5 are:

• wants to be seen as competent
• Loves to learn new things
• Knows a lot of random information
• Thinking before speaking
• Independent
• Problem solver
• Feels like people deplete their resources

When in stress the self-preservation type Fives may become hermits who interact little with the outside world. We go from type 5 to type 7, there is a need for relief but we settle for distraction or false comfort. This can look like:

• Binge watching TV
• Over eating
• Compulsive shopping
• Physical laziness
• Struggling with impulse control

With being furloughed part-time I try not to indulge too much in that compulsive shopping, but I may have bought 3 pairs of “Butterfly twists” ballet flats, and a small and large tripod for my smartphone so I could take better, personal photo’s for this blog. I watch National Geographic or Netflix, while playing a “brainless” game on my Ipad so I don’t have to feel and become to tired in order to fall asleep easier.

So for May I will focus more on journaling, coloring, some kind of physical exercise and especially show grace to myself.  Rome wasn’t build in a day so instead of the “normal” daily steps of 7 500 to 10 000 steps, I will aim for 5 000 and I will try to find joy or a thing to be grateful for on a daily basis.

I hope you all fared equally well or even better and that you and your loved ones are all staying safe and healthy.